From Small Talk to Petty Words
10/03/2019 01:34:02 PM
The most recent Jewish legal commentary to gain wide acceptance in the observant world was composed by Israel Meir Ha-Cohen (1839-1933) of Lithuania. It is a commentary on one part of Josef Caro’s legal code, the Shulchan Arukh (1488-1575). But the name that crowns Rabbi Israel Meir is not that of his commentary on a code, the Mishnah Brurah, but that of his pioneering work on the laws of libel and gossip (lashon hara), the Hafetz Hayim.
It is amazing that lashon hara was not part of Jewish law/halakhah until the Hafetz Hayim was written in 1873. The subjects do not appear in Caro’s comprehensive code. Rabbi Israel Meir transformed the ethical aspirations of our non-legal literature into black letter law. More amazingly, it was accepted. Until the Hafetz Hayim, it was common sense and common courtesy not to spread nasty rumors; after the Hafetz Hayim, it became halakhah.
The Hafetz Hayim prohibited neutral communications about third parties, as well. Perhaps he was concerned that we would fill our time with trivial gossip. He even forbade sharing positive news about others. A complimentary comment might lure the listener into saying something derogatory to balance out the praise. Even if not explicit, an insinuation could cloud the compliment and sow seeds of suspicion.
The Hafetz Hayim prefers we engage in constructive communication on subjects of significance, ideally Torah. Small talk is often necessary to introduce matters of substance; but small talk can easily slide into petty words. As we approach Yom Kippur, the day when we hope to be sealed in the Book of Life, let’s remember that our deeds and words, whether spoken or posted, are weighed on the divine scales.
Who is the person who desires life/hafetz hayim?
Guard your tongue from evil/lashon hara,
and your lips from speaking misleadingly;
Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.
— Psalm 34:13-15
